As soon as children begin to interact with others, we can begin to teach them not to be bullies and not to be bullied. We can give them words for their feelings, limit and change their behavior and teach them better ways to express their feelings and wishes. Children do not learn to solve these kinds of problems and get along by themselves. We need to teach them.
When preschoolers begin to call people names or use unkind words, intervene immediately and consistently. In kindergarten children learn the power of exclusion. We begin to hear things like, "She's not my friend and she can't come to my party." Respond with, "You don't have to be friends with her today, but it's not all right to make her feel bad by telling her she can't come to your party."
In the early elementary grades, cliques and little groups develop which can be quite exclusionary and cruel. Children need to hear clearly from us, "It's not all right to treat other people this way. How do you think she feels being told she can't play with you? Kids don't have to play with everyone or even like everyone, but they can't be cruel about excluding others.
Boys who are physically small or weak are more prone to victimization. Making fun, picking on and other forms of bullying need to be identified in their earliest stages. The message needs to be crystal clear: This is not okay. Think about how he must feel. How could you include him and let other kids know its not all right to treat others this way?
Children who are not bullies or victims have a powerful role to play in shaping the behavior of other children. Teach your children to speak up on behalf of children being bullied. "Don't treat her that way, it's not nice." "Hitting is not a good way to solve problems, let's find a teacher and talk about what happened."
For information on how martial arts can help teach your child to deal with bullies, call 519-962-9820 or email instructor@thepeacefulwarriors.org
Master Art Mason
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Profile of a Preditor
The term predator describes a person whose primary mission in life
is to harm our children in some way. The harm could take the form
of molestation, abduction or abuse.
Nearly everyone mentally pictures a predator as a "seedy,
low-life" looking individual lurking in the shadows , wearing a
trench coat. The truth of the matter is they can look like anyone.
They come from all walks of life, age groups and economic
backgrounds. There are usually common threads that loosely link
these people together. Most try to get themselves into positions
of power over, or exposure to children.
No occupation excludes the likelihood of these types of
individuals. They've even been known to have been Clergy, Police
Officers, Scout Leaders, Coaches, etc. Molesters will try to seek
positions in close proximity to children, such places as pool
halls, arcades, shopping malls or playgrounds. They may also
volunteer as chaperones or other type of assistants necessary to
deal with groups of children.
A predator or pedophile can be anyone, even someone your child
may know. Remember, the overwhelming majority of children are
victimized by someone they know.
Child abductors may randomly select their victim or they may
carefully plan their evil act for weeks or months. Some are
interested in just boys, others in girls. Few make any distinction
as to what race or economic level their victims come from. They
really don't care.
Many parents develop a false sense of security because they
have impressed on their children to "stay away from strangers".
Unfortunately, statistics show that the vast majority of child
molestation, abuse or abduction is performed by someone the victim
or family knows. Another sad statistic is that all too often these
incidents involve parents, grandparents, siblings, other family
members, friends or acquaintances. The bottom line is that you
can't exclude anyone from your watchful eye.
Most kids don't know a good definition of a "stranger". When
we tell them to "stay away from strangers" , we're really telling
them to stay out of harms way. In reality this is easier said than
done. Properly defining a stranger so that a child can understand
the definition can be difficult to do. Predators take great care
not to be classified as a stranger.
For instance, is the neighbor that talks to your child-a
stranger? Is the school janitor who always says hello to your
child, a stranger? Is the store clerk, the one you always take the
time to talk with when your child is with you-a stranger? Telling
your child not to talk to strangers becomes a complex issue when
you add all these factors into the mix. Most people pose no threat
to your child. However, children must be told to stay away from
anyone you have not given them permission to talk to. This should
include everyone.
Predators and pedophiles have their own communications network
on the Internet. They've even got their own newsletters, videos
and underground radio network. They are constantly trading
information, ideas and methods designed to gain your children's
confidence. They are working daily on developing new and better
techniques to avoid being detected. Worldwide pedophile
organizations are promoting outrageous theories like adult sex with
children is healthy and that child molestation is not a crime.
It's impossible to keep child molesters and abductors away from
your neighborhoods so you must take a proactive approach to this
danger by being aware and teaching your children how to stop from
becoming a victim. Teach them to be aware of their surroundings
including buildings and people and increase their level of "Danger
Awareness"
Yours for safe kids,
Master Art Mason
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute
Information provided by "Children's Safety Network"
is to harm our children in some way. The harm could take the form
of molestation, abduction or abuse.
Nearly everyone mentally pictures a predator as a "seedy,
low-life" looking individual lurking in the shadows , wearing a
trench coat. The truth of the matter is they can look like anyone.
They come from all walks of life, age groups and economic
backgrounds. There are usually common threads that loosely link
these people together. Most try to get themselves into positions
of power over, or exposure to children.
No occupation excludes the likelihood of these types of
individuals. They've even been known to have been Clergy, Police
Officers, Scout Leaders, Coaches, etc. Molesters will try to seek
positions in close proximity to children, such places as pool
halls, arcades, shopping malls or playgrounds. They may also
volunteer as chaperones or other type of assistants necessary to
deal with groups of children.
A predator or pedophile can be anyone, even someone your child
may know. Remember, the overwhelming majority of children are
victimized by someone they know.
Child abductors may randomly select their victim or they may
carefully plan their evil act for weeks or months. Some are
interested in just boys, others in girls. Few make any distinction
as to what race or economic level their victims come from. They
really don't care.
Many parents develop a false sense of security because they
have impressed on their children to "stay away from strangers".
Unfortunately, statistics show that the vast majority of child
molestation, abuse or abduction is performed by someone the victim
or family knows. Another sad statistic is that all too often these
incidents involve parents, grandparents, siblings, other family
members, friends or acquaintances. The bottom line is that you
can't exclude anyone from your watchful eye.
Most kids don't know a good definition of a "stranger". When
we tell them to "stay away from strangers" , we're really telling
them to stay out of harms way. In reality this is easier said than
done. Properly defining a stranger so that a child can understand
the definition can be difficult to do. Predators take great care
not to be classified as a stranger.
For instance, is the neighbor that talks to your child-a
stranger? Is the school janitor who always says hello to your
child, a stranger? Is the store clerk, the one you always take the
time to talk with when your child is with you-a stranger? Telling
your child not to talk to strangers becomes a complex issue when
you add all these factors into the mix. Most people pose no threat
to your child. However, children must be told to stay away from
anyone you have not given them permission to talk to. This should
include everyone.
Predators and pedophiles have their own communications network
on the Internet. They've even got their own newsletters, videos
and underground radio network. They are constantly trading
information, ideas and methods designed to gain your children's
confidence. They are working daily on developing new and better
techniques to avoid being detected. Worldwide pedophile
organizations are promoting outrageous theories like adult sex with
children is healthy and that child molestation is not a crime.
It's impossible to keep child molesters and abductors away from
your neighborhoods so you must take a proactive approach to this
danger by being aware and teaching your children how to stop from
becoming a victim. Teach them to be aware of their surroundings
including buildings and people and increase their level of "Danger
Awareness"
Yours for safe kids,
Master Art Mason
Founder: The Peaceful Warriors' Martial Arts Institute
Information provided by "Children's Safety Network"
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Top 16 Lures Used by Predators
Child molesters and abductors have many methods to lure a child. The most common 16 child lures are:
- Affection Lure
Most child abuse happens at the hand of someone the child knows and trusts. Pedophiles exploit that trust to take advantage of tensions in the child or teen’s family, like divorce, alcoholism or neglect. - Pet Lure
Children love animals. Many child predators will ask children to help look for their lost puppy or kitty. Parents must warn their children of this lure and let the kids no there is no lost animal. - Assistance Lure
Using an assistance lure predators will ask children for help with directions or help carrying something. Teach your children that adults usually ask adults for help, not children. The best defense against the assistance lure is for kids to pretend they do not hear the person and quickly leave the area. - Authority Lure
Pedophiles in a power position, coach, clergy, scout leader, relative, etc. take advantage of their positions. Make sure your children know it is illegal for adults to touch them in their bathing suit zone. - Bribery Lure
Pedophiles will use gifts, like candy, toys, electronics, drugs, money, to get a child to willingly go with them, or they will use the gifts as a reward to keep the abuse secret or to keep the child tolerating the abuse. - Emergency Lure
Predators will fake a crisis to trick kids and teens into willingly going with them. For example, they will tell the child, ‘Your father has been hurt and is in the hospital. I’ve been sent to take you to him.’ - Fun and Games Lure
Pedophiles will, at times, create games using restraints, such as handcuffs, ropes, duct tape, which can keep a child from protecting themselves or escaping their captor. - Hero Lure
Molesters will exploit a child by making them believe something bad will happen to someone they see as a hero, a parent, a teacher, coach, relative or celebrity. Children may endure repeated abuse to keep a hero out of trouble, or maintain a friendship. - Name Recognition Lure
Marking a child’s clothing, backpacks and other belongings can be dangerous. Pedophiles can read the nametag and call out the child’s name, creating a false sense of familiarly. - Companion/Playmate Lure
Child molesters often use their home as a lure, decorating it with party supplies, toys, sporting goods, etc. Many times, they will create an environment of anything goes, which can be appealing to children. - Fame and Ego Lure
Sex offenders will offer a child or teen an audition or private tryout to get them to keep the abuse secret. - Online and Computer Lure
Online predators lure children through chat rooms, emails and social websites. Through these avenues, a pedophile can learn a child’s personal information and arrange a private meeting. Make sure you kids know to never post their personal information online. Like where they live, go to school or work. - Threats and Weapons Lure
Pedophiles may use violence and intimidation to force children and teens to cooperate with the abuse, or stay silent about the abuse. They’ll use an ‘it’s my word against yours’ approach. - Job Lure
The job lure is a danger to older teens, even college students. The young adults are lured by an offer of a high-paying, interesting job. The sex offender will typically set up fake interview in secluded places to abuse or abduct their subject. These fake jobs are typically advertised with only a P.O. Box. - Pornography Lure
Child predators often use pornography to set the stage for abuse. Adolescents are often curious about sex and it is not difficult to hold their attention with pornographic material. - Drug Lure
Sex offenders will at times use drugs and alcohol to lure and incapacitate a child into abuse.
It is important that you teach your children about each of these lures, not just one or two. Pedophiles, child abductors and molesters can use more than one of the lures at a time to get a child to comply with abuse and keep the abuse secret.
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